We are here in one of the most beautiful yet annoying seasons of the year. Fall! You know what fall brings, pumpkin spiced EVERYTHING. You have pumpkin spiced lattes to spiced fingernail polish to pumpkin spiced burgers. Ok maybe not a burger, yet, but you get the point. Did you know there is another season that is equally popular around this time? Its so popular, Fabulous made a song about it. Yes that season is none other than Cuffin’ Season.
For those of you who don’t know what Cuffin’ (Cuffing) Season is, let me give you a #TotallyRandie Definition:
Cuffin’ Season colloquial for Handcuffing Season: Begins mostly in the fall, but is more often determined by when Summer ends in your city/how cold it actually is. Getting “Cuffed” means you are tied to your human for the fall/winter season. While you are not in a relationship, relationship activities takes place. Cuffin’ season ends some where around Feb. 14th- March 1st right before spring break for 3 reasons: 1. So that the wild horned up college kids, post college millennials, and the 30+ washed crowd can wild out with no regrets 2. Those same groups are preparing for summer and 3. You aren’t dateable for whatever reason.
While the social media buzz has died down with people actually putting out Cuffin season applications and statuses (mostly because the masses now finds Cuffin Season repugnant and childish) there are still GROWN people who will engage in Cuffin Season activities without calling it “Cuffin Season”. Kind of like people who don’t believe in Halloween but still throw “Fall Festivals” for the kids. Tuh! To be honest, some adults engage in what I like to call year-round Cuffin Season, but that’s another blog for another day. Anyway back to the topic at hand. Before you apply or put out applications for Cuffin’ Season, consider these few Pros & Cons. If you can think of some more tweet me @TotallyRandie
Companionship. I’m sure it’s a scientific fact somewhere that when the fall/winter season starts, loneliness kicks up a notch and depression runs rampant. Being cuffed allows you not to feel that loneliness. Think about it. You get to go on dates, enjoy quality time by a cozy fire, and travel with your human. Family reunions, holidays, or gatherings are a little more fun when you have someone to share it with. Companionship saves lives! Quote me.
Commitment: Or the lack thereof. Believe it or not lots of people are scared of commitment. Now I know exactly what you intellects are thinking. Isn’t Cuffin Season a commitment? It is and it isn’t. Because it has an expiration date people are more willing to enter without fear. Weird I know #KanyeShrug. But seriously think about it. During Cuffin Season, people make their own rules. Because you are not committed to this person as their boyfriend or girlfriend the rules can change at anytime. What’s understood doesn’t need to be explained.
Warmth: Baby its cold outside! Pretty self-explanatory right? I mean nothing compares to the warmth of another human body!
Lovers & Friends: Some people make the biggest mistake ever, choosing their really good friend as their cuffed human for the season. Because you are going outside of the friendzone, you end up ruining a really great friendship. I always say men and women cannot be best friends, emphasis on BEST. I say this because I feel someone will eventually like someone, resulting in you testing the waters, or becoming a #Top5Curve tweet. Don’t do it. Why cuff your friend and make the friendship awkward? Now instead of hanging out taking about lame dudes/girls you’ve both went out on dates with, you are looking at each other’s summer bodies like “why aren’t we together again?” Friendships are rare. If you find someone you can be yourself with, and they don’t want anything from you, respect your situations, and give freely, don’t ruin it.
Catch Flights not Feelings: This is a major con because you cannot account for the next person or their feelings. Some people put out actual applications for you to accept terms and conditions of Cuffin’ Season. I’m not kidding like paper work for you to sign. Even with that being said, the illusion that Cuffin’ Season can give sometimes have people deep in their feelings. They can began to see you as the perfect person for them. Also people lie DUH, they could be totally be auditioning you for BAE, MCM, WCW, or the new boo. They then get in their feelings when you don’t come thru and end the season as it should be. The following injuries could incur: stalker, troll, hater, or a physical altercation (true story). I mean think about it. If you cuffed someone who was basically perfection, would you want to give them up and watch someone else have them? That’s how guys end up with dismantled cars.
Look whether you believe in Cuffin’ Season or not, think its repugnant or not, people are still going to engage it in. I’m just writing a slight reminder for why it is not for the faint of heart. It is also not for the immature. If you decide to do it be upfront and honest 100%. Be safe out there!
Tis The Season To Be Cuffing!
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