There are so many blogs, podcast, songs, and books that talk about love. They give advice from how to fall in love to how to get over a heartbreak. It’s not the advice that I have a problem with, it’s how it’s given, like they have found the cure. None of it works. Let me say it again: NONE OF IT WORKS! If it worked, if there was a “cure” for love, everyone would be drinking the KoolAid.
Love to me is like the Flu. You have flu shots for preventative measures and you have medicine for healing. Yet in still, people catch the flu. So what are we going to talk about in this blog. Why are you even entertaining TotallyRandie?
Well I’m home recovering from wisdom tooth surgery (yes recovering). Because I can’t talk for the next 8 hours now, I have been watching love & hiphop, basketball wives, and other guilty pleasure TV. Couple that with friends and family going thru issues along with my own thoughts and voila! you have this blog.
“I think I’ve found the “Flu Shot” for Heartbreak” the answers all lies within. For many it’s easy to find a level of love. Problems occur when that love begins to fade or is lost.
I experienced my first heartbreak 5 years ago. If I would have known what I know now, things would have went a lot differently. I thought I would never find love again. That’s a narrative that many can relate to. Then comes their second heartbreak. I barely survived the first one, and you want me to experience a second? Well, did they learn their lesson? Would they apply what they know now to what they are experiencing now? That’s the “Flu Shot”.
We all make mistakes, all it takes is one time to not wash your hands and your nose began to run. Maybe you took all precaution and a love one sneeze on you. That wasn’t your fault but fatigue sets in. Heartbreak is the same. Some heartbreak is due to negligence of your own, some totally not your fault. But what we do know is heartbreak is inevitable. And just like flu shots can often give you mild flu like symptoms before it’s preventative measures take place. You can’t prevent some pain that comes with heartbreak. But your heartbreak flu shot cocktail can lessen the blow with an in depth self examination.
Here are a couple of examples:
1. What was the root cause of the Pain? Was it: the breakup, infidelity, dishonesty, loneliness, a loss of friendship, companionship void, attachment. Search deep within yourself and be honest.
2. What could you have done differently? Accountability is a problem that most people have. Admit your role in the failed relationship. Notice where you went wrong AND ADJUST. It’s easy to say we were wrong it’s hard to correct our actions.
3. Acceptance. I’m not saying accept the failure because failure is not final, neither is success. As long as you are breathing, if you want to give it another try, go for it. I’m saying accept that heartbreak is an option. It doesn’t matter if you are going into something, coming out of something, or going backing to something, heartbreak is always an option.
4. Focus on yourself. Women especially tend to get lost in our relationships. We are nurturing and often times focus so much on our men. We go all out and do everything we can to be their everything only for them to decide we aren’t what they want. THEY HAVE THAT OPTION, and so do you. We can’t control the other person. That’s why it’s important to focus on ourselves. If you find you are doing something out of character, settling, or dimming your light, it is up to you to make that change. Don’t wait until you get your heart broken to say: “but I did XY&Z for you”!. That’s a choice you made.
Those are just a few suggestions. Like I said, it’s only a flu shot. There is no cure for love. It will help remedy heartbreak and ease the pain if you are so fortunate to experience it more than once. It will also aid in not becoming negative, bitter, and cynical. “There aren’t any good men or women out there”, yes there is, you just keep doing the same things over and over. Make sure people respect you. If they don’t move on. If you are in a situation where someone wants to leave, let them go and free yourself for the person who finds that persons trash as hidden treasure.
Thank you for letting me rant on this rainy #TotallyRandieTuesday ! Leave a comment below or tweet me! Make sure you’re subscribed YouTube.com/ItsNationalDay