Guest Blogger: Jai Green of jaigreenwords.blogspot.com
iHustleNation, Authors, people with no credentials have all said it “If you are not married you are single”. Single life comes with freedom, an immeasurable amount of freedom! Your body, your time, your life, we get it. However, it also comes with a mass amount of responsibility. You hold the key to how you control your single life. Will you live it in a way that collects a vast amount of collateral damage? Or will you live it in a way that will allow a seamless transition to a relationship. It’s up to you. Some people say that single life is single life, and you should just left life happen. True there is no specific paradigm of a successful single life; however, why wouldn’t you want to save yourself unnecessary scarring? With that being said here are 4 ways to keep it classy while single.
- 4. “Heart On your Sleeve?” [Emotions]
Listen keep your emotions in check. This is the foundation to handling your single life. If you can’t handle you, you are bound to run in to problems. Some people are single by choice and they don’t want to date. If this is you, kudos! BUT don’t call up Jason when you are feeling lonely or cold or just finished watching a BET Centric showing of Love & Basketball. It defeats the purpose. Keeping your emotions in check will help you to remain true to you. If you call up Jason or accept his advancements you are opening Pandora ’s Box and someone’s going to get hurt. Now he’s sub tweeting you because you led him on. Shame! What about you ladies who are single but available (casually dating)? Cool! Go on as many dates as you want! But remember, you may GO ON DATES but that doesn’t mean you are DATING the man that you are going on dates with. Learn how to be honest with what you want from him and what he wants from you and deal with it accordingly. Remember you are not his girlfriend don’t allow your emotions to get in the way when you see him on Instagram with a big booty cutie; y’all just went on a date.
- 3. “I love her ‘cause she got her own” [Finances]
You’re independent? Cool! You like paying? Cool! Go for it we live in that age now where although women are still less paid than men (sigh) doesn’t mean we aren’t paid. Picking up the check is noble. However, allow a man to be a man. Don’t become “that” chick. You might say “me picking up the check shouldn’t make him feel like I’m emasculating him” and you would be right. However, double standards are two words in the English language for a reason, they exist. Just be careful when it comes to paying have balance, especially if sex is involved. Good sex will break the bank. Women will spend money on good sex. Don’t lie just laugh and remember the time you did it. Now we don’t pay like hiring a prostitute or even a gigolo. We pay by buying dinner, seats to his favorite game, concerts etc. We are quick to say we got it. Don’t find yourself doing things like this you are behaving like you’re his girl. When he doesn’t appreciate it, or when he’s stunting on IG with someone else in the shirt you bought him, you’re going to be zipped up in your feelings. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a woman paying. I’m just saying AGAIN have balance. If you’re not his chick don’t make it rain on him. Remember women can be tricks to.
- 2. “Selfie, Ussie, Groupie?” [Social Media]
It’s never just a picture. It’s your body, its your page, its your account, and its your downfall if you let it. Social media is not geared towards perceptions, people watch it for affirmations. You can be a virgin, but if you post a picture of you half naked with your drunk in love face on, he’s only reading one thing from you. Depending on the man you want to date, it’s probably not advantageous that you post suggestive photos. The same goes for twerk videos, 1,055 Louis Vuitton/YSL/Red bottom post, or drunk photos. “But I’m just having fun, I’m just living my life, by the time I’m ready to date it will be out of my system” and that’s all great; however, everything on the net is saved (I’m a techie trust me) and it can be used against you. Just take precaution. Think about your future before you hit post.
- 1. “Let’s keep it real ma you saving it for carats” [Sex]
If you are saving it for marriage (virgin, born again Christian, or abstinence) congrats! No, I really mean it, more power to you, it’s not easy in this day in age. You have nothing to worry about. However if you are having sex please refer to #4 #3  as they go hand in hand with what we are about to discuss. Determine what type of sex you are having, is it friends with benefits, Jumpoff, casual? What is it? Whatever it is, if you don’t see a potential future with this person, leave your emotions out of it. I know good D will have you going crazy, starting fights just for the make up sex. Don’t do it! I am aware that’s easier said than done; however, if you can’t control your emotions then maybe you shouldn’t be having sex while single. I’m just saying. Also keep people out of your business by not talking about the person. Yes the “D” might be magical, but your cousin Tonya doesn’t need to know about it. Have some sexual decorum and keep your mouth on hush. This goes hand in hand with referring to #2 because social media has chopped 6 degrees of separation down to 2. Posting a picture of you and the pipelayer ( I don’t care how casual ) will spark conversation and there you go linked to him forever and a day. Just an FYI, people will judge you from whom you choose to sleep with. So know the man you are choosing to get involved with. Finally on this topic, WRAP IT UP! Every time you have sex you are playing Russian Roulette with your life, PERIOD. You are single! What about this man have given you the idea that you can trust him? Don’t get caught up, use protection. Again it’s your life, your time, your body. Enjoy :-*
-Jai Green
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